The Mom I am NOT vs. The Mom that I am.

Long ago I came to terms with the Mother that I am and the one that I am not, however since I have a lot of friends going through this right now, I thought I might write about my experience. I think probably everyone jumps into parenthood with all these preconceived notions of what it will be like, that kind of parent you will be, and will not be, based on how you were raised, saw others raised, and how much television you watched. I learned quickly that this parent job was a lot harder than it looked from afar, and that I had not factored in sleep deprivation into my daily activity equations. But as the years have passed and I have added more little ones to my brood, I slowly learned how to achieve some balance, and to just accept the imbalances. I will never throw the most impressive and adorable birthday party, in fact I learned quickly that I have a very nervous reaction to kids birthday parties. Alright, maybe it is more of an aggressive negative reaction, I like kids, but what they turn into at parties is something that strikes a nerve in me I had no idea existed. Also, I can’t wrap gifts, I have no idea why, it looks so easy and like it requires very little skill, but it does and one I do not happen to have. I am also not great in crowded places, so carnival’s, fair’s, most theme parks, are not where I want to be, but do try for the kids to live through a trip there from time to time. And finally my cupcakes and cakes, while they may taste good are hideously ugly. There is a small part of me that see’s mothers with all these gifts and I feel a tinge of jealousy but it does not last long, that is when I try to think about the Mom that I am, unconventional maybe, but present and involved none the less. I am pretty funny at times, and can always make my kids laugh. When the kids are upset, mad, happy or whatever their feeling I let them know that people feel a variety of feelings all throughout any given day and that is, ok. I know I cannot always make them feel better, but I can let them know that feeling good and bad is a part of life they cannot escape from. I like to drag my kids out on crazy road trips with little purpose but to explore. I can help them learn to protect themselves, and survive a zombie attack or alien invasion. (ha) We talk about movies, art, food, books and life in a wonderful way. And I can tell a pretty killer bed time story. I know every Mom is capable of embracing what is special about her and giving that to her children un-apologetically.